As I progressed through my Junior year in High School, life was good. I was feeling really good about myself, the first time in a very long time, and things began to fall into place. I was suddenly getting lots of attention from the guys, the "cool girls" seemed more open to including me within "the group", and I was taking chances that I otherwise wouldn't have.
This was the year I stepped out of my comfort-zone and started putting myself out there for others to see. I went to parties (Homecoming Float building at the Whiting's comes to mind), I went to more school activities (football games, home and away) and I just started having fun! Instead of complaining about what wasn't happening in my life, I was actually making things happen!
Like my sisters before me, I decided to try out for a part in the High School Musical. That year the play was South Pacific and I wanted the lead. You see the year prior my sister had held the lead of Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, so of course I wanted to be "just like my sister! The only glitch was the lead called for a thin soprano... unfortunately, I was a voluptuous alto, so they would only consider me for the part of Bloody Mary (oh No, that meant I could only play "the fat girl part"!?!?) Not again...I wanted to be the pretty girl!!!
The first day of auditions came and it was focused solely on the singing. All hopeful gathered in the choir room, and watched nervously, as one by one, we were all called up to sing. For the part of Bloody Mary we were asked to sing "The Impossible Dream" and the Choir Director, (oh no, he hates me!) took time to "teach" us all how he wanted us to sing it. I was a member of his choir, and I have to say, he was the first Choir Director I had ever encountered that didn't like my voice! My thought was there was no way he was going to give me the part, so I decided to just do it my way!
As they called my name, I was a little nervous simply because I followed a girl who I knew was one of his "favorites". She had a tone to her voice that I knew he preferred thus I knew my chances were slim to none. Oh well, the effort was futile but I was here, so I may as well take the only moment in the spot light and make the most of it. As he began playing the piano, I took a deep breath and looked at the "audience" around me, including the Director who sat directly in front of me. As I opened my mouth to sing, all nerves disappeared with that first note, as I had always found my strength in my own voice.
As I sang softly, sweetly and with all emotion the words evoked, I felt the song fill me. As I glanced at the piano, I saw a look of unhappiness on the Choir Director's face because I was not singing it the way he had performed it. I was singing it as I felt it, which is exactly the way we all should sing. After all, we should all be true to our own voice!
As I saw his face I thought "Well, I knew going into it, he wouldn't choose me so I may as well enjoy the moment", and I did!! As I came to the ending the words soared, so did the energy in the room. With the last note, everyone began to clap and whistle...I was the only one who got applause... it was amazing! I wasn't going to get the part, but I was heard for who I was, and that was surprisingly satisfying!
Imagine my surprise the next day when my name was included on the short call back list for the part of Bloody Mary. Of course, at the top of the list was the Choir Director's "favorite", but mine , though at the bottom, was there! I have to admit, my initial reaction was surprise then the nerves took hold! OMG...how was I going to do this???
As the day came for the auditions, I was nervous. The singing part was easy for me... I had always loved to sing so to me that was a no brainer. It was the "acting" part of it, I found kind of intimidating. I think it had more to do with the reading in public (I'd had an issue with that since childhood) then thinking I couldn't "act" the part. Thankfully, all the years of reading plays with my sister, had taught me if I was going to make it through, I needed to remember the lines" before" the reading so I wouldn't make any mistakes. So as I sat in the auditorium, I re-read the line's of my "scene" and had an epiphany. I suddenly saw the scene a totally different way then that in which it was being performed by all those who had gone before me. Each girl had taken the traditional role of Bloody Mary and played her "rough around the edges"...I saw her differently...
Once again I followed the Choir Director's "favorite", who did her reading just as he had said Bloody Mary should be. She knew exactly how to take direction and did it with perfection. With that I knew the odd's of me getting the part had flown out the window so once again, what the heck...I may as well do it my way!
As I got on stage, I didn't have the script in hand and it was noted that "I might need it". I shook my head and took Direction as to where to stand (yes, I do know how to take direction I just don't always do it), and waited for my reading partner to take the lead. As he delivered his first line, I smiled a sly little smile and began to "react" to his lead...in doing so my version of Bloody Mary (a flirtatious, cheeky woman) came to life! This threw my scene partner for a second but he quickly fell into it and when the scene was done, I looked at the Director and Choir Director and was surprised to see them both smiling...Hmm, maybe I did have a chance!?
The day had come when the lead would be announced and as we all sat in the Auditorium I sat next to "Miss Favorite". We chatted about everything but our nervousness at who was going to get the part! In all fairness, she was a really likeable girl, so the time we spent together was enjoyable. As the Directors appeared on stage, they spoke of the "great pool of talent" and "how hard some had made the choice". They announced that "because they had so much talent to choose from they had decided to have two casts"...Ugh! Who really wants to share a part? Though maybe, that meant there was some hope for me...
As they announced the "1st Cast", it was no surprise to me when "Miss Favorite" got the part of Bloody Mary. My hopes (which I had convinced myself I didn't have) dropped a little as what I had predicted to be the case, came to fruition. She was "his" version of Bloody Mary. I was truly happy for her, she was a nice girl and if I stayed objective, I could see exactly how she fit the part better than I. As cast # 1 celebrated, they were quickly shushed and then cast #2 was announced...as they got to the part of Bloody Mary, "Miss Favorite", took my hand and said, "I hope it's you!"...Wow! That was a compliment I wasn't expecting! It helped relax me a little!
As the Director said, "and for Bloody Mary the obvious choice is" ...(drum roll please) "Mary R..."! OMG...I got it! I was quickly hugged by the "other Bloody Mary", my new ally, and was just as quickly petrified as to whether or not I could do this! I quickly ran through my head all the reasons I can't do this: I can't act, I'm not as good as my sister, they will realize I wasn't as confident as I seemed, "she" was better, yada yada, yada....What was I going to do? Then just as suddenly I said "I'd worry about that tomorrow" (ala Scarlet O'Hara), took a deep breath, put my smile back on and decided to enjoy the moment, after all they had said I was "the obvious choice"...
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