Reflections...

Today I had an experience that brought complete clarity to the saying "the mirror has two faces".  It was nothing unusual, nothing major, nothing I hadn't done 1000's of times before, not even something unique to myself.  It was simply the act of catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror that stopped me in my tracks, and brought the truth to the forefront.  

Tonight I found myself looking in the mirror and realized the person I was looking at in that moment, looked somehow "less" than the person I saw earlier in the day.  The image I saw was somehow off...different then the me I saw this afternoon. The face I was looking at now somehow looked older, the body somewhat heavier and me, somewhat "wrong".  I hadn't changed, still the same outfit, still the same face...so what was the difference?  

As I pondered this, I realized that shortly before looking in the mirror for the umpteenth time today, I had an experience that made me feel "attacked" for what I believed, for what I said, for speaking my truth.   The truth of the matter is, the "feeling" I had because of the conversation, probably wasn't even true, as I am sure the person was well intended.  The point is, I perceived it as an attack, thus opened the door of fear and self-doubt that caused me to diminish my own Light and thus tainted how I saw myself.    

This realization got me thinking about how we see ourselves when we look in a mirror. Now I know I probably look in a mirror more than most, as my bedroom wall is fully mirrored and I sit directly across from it as I write, watch TV, and sleep.  I've recently become aware of the varying person I "see" from day to day.  This got me wondering why and so I started to pay attention.

My "reflection" seems to change based on what I am feeling that day.  The days I wake up fully within Gratitude and Faith are the days I like the woman looking back at me.  On those days I see a twinkle in her eyes, her face looks somehow "younger", I see beauty and I see her thinner (Really, it' true).    Basically, on days when I am feeling happy or joyful, I like the woman I see looking back at me.... That's how I felt this afternoon when I  first looked in the mirror.

On the days when I allowed fear and self-doubt in ("I won't have enough money", "I won't be successful", "they'll be mad at me", "where am I going to go from here") those are the times the reflection I see looking back at me is somehow different.  Somehow "less than" the real me.  THAT woman looks "older", not much life in her eyes, her beauty gone and yes, she's somehow heavier too.  This was the woman I saw looking back at me after I had the conversation that caused me to doubt myself.  

Let me rephrase that...the conversation didn't cause me to doubt myself, the person talking to me didn't cause my doubt, it was what I heard within the conversation that "reflected" back at me something that I already feared within myself. 

 I realized that most times when we look in the mirror, the reflection we "see" is seen in a  two sided mirror.  As we stare at our own reflection, we tend to see a combination of  our true reflection and that of how other's (all the people in our life) have taught us to perceive  ourselves.  Hopefully the "others" see us truly through the eyes of love or better yet through rose-colored glasses that hold us at a higher esteem, then we are able to see our true self.   

Unfortunately,more than not, the other's in our life see us through eyes that are tinged through years of  their own fears and doubts.  Thus the words they use to describe us may be filled with judgment, criticism and untruth.   Those are the words we hear throughout our entire life.  Those words (and those eyes) are what cause us to see our own reflection through a warped mirror, a mirror that reflects a diminish version of our true self...

So because of this, the "Mirror has Two Faces".  I realized I have the choice to see who is looking back at me, simply by choosing to react in Love and Light, verse fear and doubt.  Good news is, every time I look into the mirror, I have the choice of whom I see looking back at me.   

As I glance up from my computer, I am happy to report the woman looking back at me is once again familiar, once again beautiful and once again filled with much promise.  The face reflected in front of me feels "right" and thankfully, as I look into her twinkling eyes, I see nothing but possibilities looking back at me!